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Review: Black is the Colour


Review: Neil Portenza ... Tracey

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Melbourne Fringe
Neal Portenza has run out of room for his full show title. Tracey
Neal Portenza
29 September 2016
Courthouse Hotel
to 2 October
melbournefringe.com.au

Neal Portenza. Photo by Kristy Sheilds

Even though The Courthouse Hotel has $10 espresso martinis and is a 30 second walk from The North Melbourne Town Hall, the Fringe crowds haven't drifted over.

As the Town Hall shows have no closed, TODAY is Melbourne's opportunity to make Neal Portenza has run out of room for his full show title. Tracey a standing-room only performance.

If you regret it, I'll shout you an expresso martini and a turkish delight.

My review is on The Age/SMH.

We will forever be known as the Portenza Nine.

What to see on the last day of the Fringe

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Melbourne Fringe

What to see on the last day of the Melbourne Fringe?


Tessa Waters



Most of the Melbourne Fringe is over BUT not all of it. I'm off to La Mama to see Blaaq Catt and Hart. 

Those shows are sold out, but you can still see Neal Portenza...Tracey at 8.15 and Tessa Waters: WERQ in Progress at 7.15 at The Courthouse Hotel – where there's also good food, good beer, board games and $10 Espresso Martinis.

I've seen 38 shows this Fringe. If I can* get from Carlton to North Melbourne, I am going to try to get to Tessa and Neal AGAIN. Tessa's in a work that changes every night and I really didn't see what Neal's Tracey has turned into.

And they are two of the funniest and smartest clowns around.

#SeeTessaAndNealTonight

(*My La Mama show finishes 5 mins before Tessa's starts, so unlikely.)


MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: You and me and the space in between

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Melbourne Festival
You and me and the space in between
Terrapin Puppet Theatre 
7 October 2016
Beckett Theatre
to 9 October 2016
melbournefestival.com.au

You and me and the space in between. Melbourne Festival. Photo supplied

I wonder if we go to theatre to re-create, or discover, the childhood experience of sitting in a loving lap and being read a story.

Hobart’s Terrapin Puppet Theatre have been creating and touring children’s theatre since 1981. You and me and the space in between only has four days at the Melbourne Festival and continues this festival’s dedication to ensuring that children and their families can see amazing theatre that’s made for them.
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The full review is on AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: Two Dogs

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Melbourne Festival
Two Dogs
National Theatre of China 
6 October 2016
Merlyn Theatre
to 9 October 2016
melbournefestival.com.au


Two Dogs. Melbourne Festival. Photo supplied

Director Meng Jinghui is a cult theatre superstar in China and the National Theatre of China is one of the most influential companies in Asia. I can’t think of an equivalent Australian company, but maybe his works are seen with the kind of obsession that Punchdrunk’s Sleep No More is seen in New York. Since its debut in 2006, Two Dogs has been performed around the world over 1000 times by Liu Xiaoye and Wang Yin. And with its high degree of improvisation – the running time ranges from 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours 45 minutes – fans come back.

With only four chances to see it at the Melbourne Festival, and I have no doubt that many are seeing it more than once.

Apart from the people who walked out, clearly unimpressed that anyone dare perform work that they don’t understand.

...

The full review is on AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: The Money

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Melbourne Festival
The Money
Kaleider
Prahran Town Hall
8 October 2016
to 23 October  in other venues
melbournefestival.com.au

The Money. Melbourne Festival. Photo supplied

The Money is every meeting I’ve ever been to.

Created by UK-based company Kaleider, it’s part game, immersive theatre and live art. And almost fly-on-the-wall live documentary.

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The full review is on AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: Ancient Rain

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Melbourne Festival
Ancient Rain
12 October 2016
Playhouse, Arts Centre Melbourne
to 15 October
www.festival.melbourne

Ancient Rain. Melbourne Festival. Photo supplied

Ancient Rain is far from perfect and still unsure about itself, but it charms with its the imperfection. And it has Camille O'Sullivan, which overcomes any doubts.

Developed by Adelaide companies Brink and Far and Away Productions, it's been co-commissioned by the Melbourne Festival and the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. It had one performance in Dublin before it's short Melbourne run and is heading to Woolongong and Canberra.

Ireland's O'Sullivan and her musical collaborator Feargal Murray joined with Australia's Paul Kelly to write music for a selection of Irish poems from the last 100 years. Except for their depictions of a cruel, cold and desolate world where love struggles against loss, the links between the poems are tenuous and while the individual poems have their own completeness, it's difficult to find what they offer together.

This is reflected in the design of miss-matched chairs that could have come from hard rubbish and in Chris Drummond's direction that gives a broad theatrical shape to the individual poems and songs, but lets the singers and musicians (also including Paul Byrne, Dan Kelly, Sokal Koka) find their own paths and connections within the limits.

O'Sullivan has a connection to every emotion that created the poets' words. It's like she finds a hidden place in herself that remembers everything the poets felt and experienced. There's a degree of character, but she sings like every song and word is hers.

Her singing of The Statue of the Virgin at Granard Speaks by Paula Meehan, about the 1984 death of a 15-year-old giving birth under the statue, left the room so silent that individual tears could be heard sliding down cheeks.

Her pure emotion contrasts with Kelly, who holds back on emotion and – like the poets – lets the words have their own power. This is far more powerful when he sings – some poems are spoken – and lets music add the unconscious emotion.

The combination of styles could cancel each other out, but they support each other and fill in the emotional spaces that the other misses. She give his unspoken emotions an almost corporeal form; he gives her the emotional distance that’s needed to find understanding

Both are voices that are difficult to forget. This could be because neither force their voices to be anything other than the sound they hear in their heads. O’Sullivan could have a clear, pitch-perfect voice, but she lets herself be husky and raw. Kelly could belt out link a rock god, but he sings like he speaks.

Ancient Rain began with poetry and finds its way back to the poets by giving them voice in voices that the poets may never have heard in their heads, but are the voices that might bring new readers to their works.



The Statue of the Virgin at Granard Speaks 
by Paula Meehan

It can be bitter here at times like this,
November wind sweeping across the border.
Its seeds of ice would cut you to the quick.
The whole town tucked up safe and dreaming,
even wild things gone to earth, and I
stuck up here in this grotto, without as much as
star or planet to ease my vigil.

The howling won't let up. Trees
cavort in agony as if they would be free
and take off — ghost voyagers
on the wind that carries intimations
of garrison towns, walled cities, ghetto lanes
where men hunt each other and invoke
the various names of God as blessing
on their death tactics, their night manoeuvres.
Closer to home the wind sails over
dying lakes. I hear fish drowning.
I taste the stagnant water mingled
with turf smoke from outlying farms.

They call me Mary — Blessed, Holy, Virgin.
They fit me to a myth of a man crucified:
the scourging and the falling, and the falling again,
the thorny crown, the hammer blow of iron
into wrist and ankle, the sacred bleeding heart.
They name me Mother of all this grief
though mated to no mortal man.
They kneel before me and their prayers
fly up like sparks from a bonfire
that blaze a moment, then wink out.

It can be lovely here at times. Springtime,
early summer. Girls in Communion frocks
pale rivals to the riot in the hedgerows
of cow parsley and haw blossom, the perfume
from every rushy acre that's left for hay
when the light swings longer with the sun's push north.

Or the grace of a midsummer wedding
when the earth herself calls out for coupling
and I would break loose of my stony robes,
pure blue, pure white, as if they had robbed
a child's sky for their colour. My being
cries out to be incarnate, incarnate,
maculate and tousled in a honeyed bed.

Even an autumn burial can work its own pageantry.
The hedges heavy with the burden of fruiting
crab, sloe, berry, hip; clouds scud east
pear scented, windfalls secret in long
orchard grasses, and some old soul is lowered
to his kin. Death is just another harvest
scripted to the season's play.

But on this All Souls' Night there is
no respite from the keening of the wind.
I would not be amazed if every corpse came risen
from the graveyard to join in exaltation with the gale,
a cacophony of bone imploring sky for judgement
and release from being the conscience of the town.

On a night like this I remember the child
who came with fifteen summers to her name,
and she lay down alone at my feet
without midwife or doctor or friend to hold her hand
and she pushed her secret out into the night,
far from the town tucked up in little scandals,
bargains struck, words broken, prayers, promises,
and though she cried out to me in extremis
I did not move,
I didn't lift a finger to help her,
I didn't intercede with heaven,
nor whisper the charmed word in God's ear.

On a night like this I number the days to the solstice
and the turn back to the light.
O sun,
centre of our foolish dance,
burning heart of stone,
molten mother of us all,
hear me and have pity.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: Backstage in Biscuit Land

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Melbourne Festival
Backstage in Biscuit Land
TourettesHero
13 October 2016
Beckett Theatre
to 16 October
www.festival.melbourne




I was sitting on the couch singing a song to my cat and included the lyrics "she likes it hard in the face". If you've been to Backstage in Biscuit Land, you know that I'm living biscuity.

There's one more chance to see this extraordinary, hilarious and attitude-changing show on Sunday*.

Performers Jess Thom and Jess Mabel Jones (known as Chopin) guide each other and their audience on an unforgettable hour of theatre that – even with an emergency script – can never be repeated.

Thom describes herself as an artist, writer and part-time super hero and tells us that the show is like an "octopus impersonating a lemongrass plant". She has Tourette syndrome and her uncontrollable, and unpredictable tics – that include her saying "biscuit" up to 16, 000 times a day – create a new show every time.

Her long-time friend Leftwing Idiot (Matthew Pountney) helped to co-devise the show by insisting that the "crazy language generating machine" that is Tourettes was being wasted if it wasn’t being used creatively. And the Tourettes Hero website encourages everyone to use her thousands of tics as a catalyst for creativity. How can "The hippopotamus of outrageous fortune" not lead to something brilliant? "How many leap years does it take to change a cat into a dragon?"

Backstage in Biscuit Land. Melbourne Festival. Photo by Jonathan Birch

By explaining the misunderstood neurological syndrome and talking about some of her experiences – such as being asked to sit in a sound booth in a theatre, at a show about inclusion – she ensures that it's impossible to leave and not understand the condition. And she invites everyone to laugh with her at her tics.

Which is mostly easy because they are "more exciting than an otter having sex with an avocado" and funnier than any metaphor I could try to construct, but the uncontrollable laughter can turn and bite when her motor tics look painful or we see a bruise or an injury, or when she and Chopin explain what will happen if she has a ticcing fit, which happens multiple times every day.

Her regular "biscuit", "hedgehog", "fuck" and "cat" quickly become normal as she tells us her stories or her tics make a story for Chopin to act out; I will never look at an image of Mother Theresa and not laugh.

As a piece of theatre, they’ve developed ways to control and celebrate the uncontrollable, but what really hits home is realising how closed off our theatre shows and spaces are. We continue to deny people the right to be in a pubic space because of difference or disability.

Is Thom’s own show the only Melbourne Festival show where she could be in the audience?

So, it’s time to change that and make theatre that welcomes difference. It doesn’t have to be every show, but Thom reminded us – based on touring this show for two years – that when you make theatre inclusive and build access into every element of the work, you make it better.

Imagine what shows would be like if we allowed everyone, including ourselves, to react naturally?


*Or head to Brisbane where it's playing at QPAC.

And here's Richard Watts's Smart Arts interview with Jess Thom. She's starts at 00:50:55. But why not listen to the whole show.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour

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Melbourne Festival
Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour
National Theatre of Scotland and Live Theatre
11 October 2016
Fairfax Studio
to 23 October
www.festival.melbourne


Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour. Melbourne Fringe. Photo supplied


It was impossible to get a ticket for Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour at the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe, but it’s running for all of the Melbourne Festival so as many people as possible can sing their praises and toast them with creaming soda mixed with vodka, Cointreau and a bit of advocaat.

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The full review is on AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.


MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: Lady Eats Apple

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Melbourne Festival
Lady Eats Apple
Back to Back Theatre
8 October 2016
Hamer Hall
to 13 October
www.festival.melbourne


Lady Eats Apple. Melbourne Festival. Photo by Jeff Busby

I’m still thinking about Back to Back Theatre’s Lady Meets Apple. I want to talk about it, but want to hold it safe and close so that its meaning stays between the performers and me.

The Melbourne Festival world premiere – it’s heading around the world – is a much-anticipated, and well-funded, work by the Geelong-based company that continue to question how the world perceives intellectual disability and theatre.

Following from the sold-out international acclaim of Ganesh Versus the Third Reich (one of the best things I’ve seen), this work started its development with ensemble member Simon Laherty saying he wanted to make a tragedy. The six-member ensemble are the only full-time paid ensemble in Victoria

This tragedy starts with a loved creation myth and the downfall of those who were there.

In an inflated taut black cavern-cum-womb in a disconcerting space somewhere in Hamer Hall, two on-stage roadies in black t-shirts demand more of the dark empty world that they control.

As their god status becomes clear, the pissed-off and insecure young god (Scott Price) –”What if god is one of us?” – thinks that the older and more frustrated god (Brian Lipson) – “Who is like god?” – treats him like a “dumb shit” and declares his one true status by creating animals.  The creatures are named by the first man (Mark Deans) and woman (Sarah Mainwaring), who ask their god for more boundaries than merely knowing that they shouldn’t eat an apple.

When the older god collapses, the blackness disappears – there’s nothing like an audience gasping together – and time begins.

Apparently the next section is 20 minutes, but it could be moments or an eternity as the world becomes white and breathes and move as shapes appear and the music and sounds in our headphones – the whole show is heard through headphones – offer few clues. It’s hard to see if the faraway shadows are human. They look like Ewoks or monks and I think I saw a man carry a long and heavy burden on his shoulder.

Lady Eats Apple. Back to Back Theatre. Photo by Jeff Busby

It ends as the whiteness falls and the audience is faced with the enormity of the orange velvet, three-level emptiness of the concert hall. The secrets are revealed; what was so mysterious and unseeable is clear. And cleaners (Deans, Laherty, Mainwaring, Price and Romany Latham) – the people we never see when we sit in that theatre – fight about their right to take a juicy bite of all that’s on the forbidden but reachable tree.

Its dramaturgy is complex but so gentle that its truth acts more on an unconscious level and doesn’t feel clear until it circles back to its beginning and the extraordinary manifests out of the ordinary.

Under Bruce Gladwin’s direction, Lady Eats Apple confronts audiences with their own perceptions humanity and never allows a moment of ease or complicity as their audience are left to create their own meaning or struggle to understand.


This was on AussieTheatre.com.

MELBOURNE FESTIVAL: War and Peace

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Melbourne Festival
War and Peace 
Gob Squad
19 October 2016
Merlyn Theatre
to 20 October 2016
www.festival.melbourne
malthousetheatre.com.au

War and Peace in Berlin. Photo by David Baltzer

War and Peace: I know people who've read it. Only about 20 members of the audience had read it. I've thought about reading it. Gob Squad's production hasn't got me any closer.

Gob Squad were last in Melbourne in 2012 at the Melbourne Festival with the their remarkable co-production with Campo Before Your Very Eyes. Formed in 1994, the seven-member company are based in Berlin and say that they work "where theatre meets art, media and read life".

Gob Squad

War and Peace doesn't try to explain Tolstoy's 1869 novel, about Russia during the Napoleonic Wars from 1805 to 1812. They know that it's something that you need to experience for yourself in order to understand it – which might well be the point of Tolstoy's novel about war.

With three screens, a table set with delicate snacks and wine, and a gazebo (or war tent) that looks like it belongs in a backyard wedding, the show begins as the audience trickle in and the performers – Tatiana Saphir, Sharon Smith, Bastian Trost and Simon, who are dressed in beige-gold 19th century frocks without skirts, contemporary chunky-soled boots and supportive tights – meet and introduce members of the audience from the stage.

Three willing audience members remain to take part in an on-stage salon where they talk non-confrontational politics and art. Our three were Pier CathewIain Grandage and Sarah (who was reviewing and I'll link it here as soon as I find it). The salon members talk with the performers and sections of each chat are broadcast on the screens, while the others are kept secret.

Watching people think on the spot is fascinating, but the conversations are controlled enough by the performers to be easily forgotten.

As the performance develops away from the salon, the likeable ensemble get deeper into the ideas of the novel by becoming more ridiculously flippant, like Tolstoy's history of dance with a rainbow ribbon. As they can't begin to understand living in world always at war, they explore the ideas of identifying with something – anything or anyone – in the book.

They get closer to being reflective when they talk about their grandparents who lived through the Second World War, but then pull further away because it still doesn't get close to understanding. Maybe a fashion parade of characters is more respectful than trying to reflect on the magnitude of War and Peace.

Being in the theatre with Gob Squad is an absolute pleasure – the parts that make up War an Peace are delightfully funny – but I don't think that's what they are trying to do. Or perhaps the sum of the parts isn't meant to be stronger as a whole. Perhaps I need to read War and Peace.




Review: Kinky Boots

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Kinky Boots
Michael Cassel in association with Cameron Mackintosh
22 October 2016
Her Majesty's Theatre
kinkybootsthemusical.com.au

Kinky Boots, Australia. Photo by Matthew Murphy
Kinky Boots had me at “The most beautiful thing in the world”: a song about shoes. A song about shoes written by 1980’s pop icon Cyndi Lauper. The show’s won awards, including the 2013 Best Musical Tony, and the Australian production has opened in Melbourne – as if we needed another excuse to wear long red boots.

...

The full review is on AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.


Review: Godspell

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Godspell
Arts Centre Melbourne, Bold Jack International, Room 8 Productions and The Australian Shakespeare Company 
Fairfax Studio, Arts Centre Melbourne
artscentremelbourne.com.au
to 6 November

Godspell. Photo by Mark Gambino

My review is at The Age/SMH.

Matilda leaving Melbourne

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Matilda
matildathemusical.com


Matilda’s last Melbourne performance is November 11. If you haven’t seen it, well that’s not right. And as Matilda says, “If that’s not right.  You have to put it right!”.

And do it soon because there aren’t many seats left.

Royal Shakespeare Company. Matilda The Musical. Photo by Manuel Harlan

Update: it's sold out, but try for singles.

It’s a gloriously wonderful piece of theatre that left me in tears on its opening night in March. I’m going to try and see it again (tickets  now bought), even if just because I’ve only seen one of the four casts of children.

This award-winning show is what happens when everything in the development of a show and everything on the stage is about telling a story, rather than about selling tickets with razzle dazzle and assumptions about what audiences want.

Dennis Kelly’s book captures the tone of Roald Dahl’s original book and makes it live on the stage, without feeling like a book. It’s honest to the source, but is totally original and always lets the extreme and outrageous characters be seen as real people who make choices and aren’t just evil and wrong or good and right.

Rob Horwell’s design of books and blocks makes the stage world as imaginative as any world a child creates when they play, and his costumes evoke memories for the audience without forcing the story into a specific time.

Peter Darlin’s choreography is like a re-invention of play and dance; it’s how we dance and play in our heads when we think no one is watching.

Matthew Warchus’s direction ensures that every part of this amazing show is telling the same story.

And a guy from Western Australia wrote the music and lyrics.

Tim Minchin is as close to genius as Stephen Sondheim is. He finds rhyme where it shouldn’t exist without letting the word-fun distract from the meaning of the songs. His music’s full of joy without hiding the melancholy that underscores all feelings all happiness. A consistent audience favourite  is “When I grow up”. It’s about the excitement of growing up, the frustration of not being grown up, and the understanding that being grown up isn’t as wonderful as we imagine it to be. It’s the kind of song that wrings your heart as it makes you  smile.

The cast and ensemble are simply brilliant and everyone ensures that even the smallest role is as important as Matilda, the little girl who lets kids know that even when they don’t get the love they deserve that they can change their stories and be heroes.

Matilda is everything great musical theatre can be.

And if you do miss it in Melbourne, there are short seasons in Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide.

This was on AussieTheatre.com

Review: Uprising

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Uprising
Monash Centre for Theatre and Performance
28 October 2016
Tower, Malthouse Theatre
to 5 November



My review is at The Age/SMH.


Food reviews

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I wrote these for Issimo magazine in 2014–15*. They're no longer online and menus and prices will have changed, but they still all great places to find a vegetarian treat in a non-vego menu.

*A long-ago time when food trucks were a novelty.


Spout 
48 Glen Eira Road, Ripponlea (near Ripponlea train station)


Spout is the sort of cafe that locals want to keep to themselves.

The staff are delightful, the strong house-blend coffee’s ground per cup and consistently warrants a second, the serves are generous, everything (including a daily muffin) is made in the open kitchen, and there’s always a surprisingly unique vegetarian choice.

Citrus black beans with Meredith feta and quinoa bread 
$15.50 plus $3 for a perfectly poached egg

The Middle Eastern style beans have a welcome hint of crunch from being soaked – not tinned – and the limey tang adds a freshness that instantly removes any memories of floury bean dishes. Combined with creamy oil-dressed feta, a silky egg (recommended by staff) and a flaky-yet-dense bread (that’s even gluten free), it’s a treat to go back for.

spoutcafe.com.au





Shanghai Street
146 Little Bourke Street (they now have shops all over, including a great one in Windsor)


If you think Melbourne foodies argue about the best lattes, wait until you ask about the best dumplings!

Vegetarians always have fewer choices but, containing the search to Chinatown in the city, Shanghai Street’s vegetable dumplings are the consistent winner.

Fried vegetable dumpling 
$9.20

Made in an open kitchen (no frozen dumplings here), the serve of 15 is enough for the hungriest dumplarian and each is so plump that it’s impossible to eat one in a mouthful.

With your table-made soy, vinegar and chilli dipping sauce, the steamed ones are addictive, but when a dumpling is so amply filled with the greenest of greens, with a hint of tofu and chewy wood fungus, there’s no guilt in indulging in the fried – just let them cool down before biting in.


Borsch, Vodka & Tears 
173 Chapel Street, Windsor


It’s easy to get lost in the menu pages dedicated to vodkas, but the name of this favourite Windsor restaurant insists on soup as well. And the tears are those of joy to find vegetarian dishes among the goulashes.

Vegetarian Polish borsch with porcini mushroom uszka 
$14.50 (or $11.50 for lunch)

Unlike some borsches, it’s a clear broth. Served in hand-painted bowls, its purple is like the last glimpse of a pink sunset in a darkening blue sky. It’s sweet like the beetroot it’s made with but balanced with a lemony tang, which all comes together with a dunking of light rye bread – never skimping on the butter! Then there’s the real indulgence: three hand-made uszka dumplings with an earthy porcini filling that turn this soup into the one I want for my last meal.

borschvodkaandtears.com

Taco Truck
Various. Today’s dish on High Street, Northcote


Forget food vans that only offer soggy chips for vegos because Melbourne’s food trucks have made lining up on the footpath and eating on a patch of grass a gourmet delight.

There are two Taco Trucks touring the inner suburbs. It’s not super cheap or fast, but every meal is made to order, is served by happy staff and redefines dated ideas about Mexican takeaway. And there’s always a vegetarian taco.

Taco plate with house-made corn chips and guacamole 
Potato taco with jalapeno ricotta, slaw and salsa verde
$16

Take a large first bite to include the crisp salad and mildly spiced cheese before feeling the crack of the deep fried taco with its chewy and soft potato filling. For heat fans, there are sauces and always upsize with corn chips and fresh guacamole, which tastes like it’s straight from an avocado tree.

Taco Truck Facebook page





Magic Cuisine
Centro Shopping Centre, Box Hill. In the fresh food market.


If there’s anything disappointing about vegetarian eating in Melbourne, it’s steamed buns. Sweet custard and red bean buns are plentiful, but savoury ones are harder to find.

Magic Cuisine, in the Box Hill shopping centre, offers pre-packaged Malaysian-style marinated goodies, coloured jellies for drinks, and three steamed buns: pork, veggie and red bean.

Veggie Bun 
$2.00 each


Made in the kitchen you can see, each bun comes fresh from a steamer. The dense white bread is warm and soft and filled with a mix of mushroom, black fungus, bean curd and bok choy that, without spice or sauce to distract, surprises with its mix of flavours and textures – and instantly made me feel like I was in Kuala Lumpur.

Being palm size, each bun is a substantial snack, but you’ll need extras to take home.

boxhillshoppingcentre.com.au

Supper Inn
15 Celestial Lane, Melbourne


If you haven’t had a three-course meal at Supper Inn at 1.30am, you’re not a Melbournian.

It’s at the top of a dark stairwell, at the end of a small dark lane that’s filled with bins. First-timers think you’re joking or trying to murder them. But it’s always full and I’ve never been there after midnight when there wasn’t a table of people in football scarfs, even when there hadn’t been a match.

The wood panelled décor, menu (and maybe the staff) haven’t changed much since it opened in the 80s and the Cantonese menu hasn’t always welcomed vegetarians, but there’s one dish that’s made it to the main menu.


Deep fried eggplant, beancurd and beans with spicy salt and chilli
$16.00

The eggplant is melt in your mouth, the bean curd’s slightly chewy and the beans still have crunch  – and it’s batter coated, deep fried and covered with chilli, spring onions and a spicy salt. The quality isn’t consistent, but at its best, you’ll have to order a second serve because everyone wants more.


Tuck Shop Take Away
273 Hawthorn Road, Caulfield



Take Away’s owners have, between them, worked at Fat Duck (yes, Heston’s), Attica and Vue de Monde. Now they’ve revamped a sad corner milk bar into a cooler-than-school-ever-was Tuck Shop where they flip burgers.

If the steady lunch crowd and extended waiting time is anything to go by, their burgers must be flipping brilliant. But my test is the veggie option.

Veggie Wedgie with Cuts
$12.50

First, always order cuts (chips). Hand cut and triple cooked, they are greasy and salty and make you remember what chips are meant to taste like.


The Veggie is served exactly like its non-veg counterpart, but with a pink lentil, brown rice and beetroot patty. The patty is missing some chew factor, but it’s not what makes this treat memorable. From the butter-grilled, sesame-sprinkled brioche bun to the crunchy iceberg lettuce, it looks like the memory of childhood burgers. And with pickles, a very special mayo-tomato-mustard sauce and melting bright yellow cheese, it tastes even better than it looks.

Tuck Shop Facebook page

Naked for Satan: Naked in the Sky
285 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy



A visit to Naked for Satan is already such a quintessential Melbourne experience that it’s hard to believe it’s only four-years-old.

Resist the plates of pintxos at ground level (next time) and find the lift to the rooftop, where the views stretch from the city to the Dandenongs to the balconies of nearby apartments.

The bar menu has about 15 tapas treats, plus cheeses, sweets and heaven-blessed house-made vodkas. The vegetarian offerings are limited, but irresistible.

Mushroom Parfait with onion jam, smoked almonds and radish
$16.00


Never has a square of grey been so moorish. Intensely mushroomy, it’s also so creamy that it’s best to not think about the butter in it. And there’s plenty of crunchy bread to experiment with to find your unforgettable combination of parfait, sweet onion jam, smoky almond and fresh salad.

nakedforsatan.com.au



All photos by A-M Peard

What Melbourne Loved 2016

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So, yesterday happened and the lump in the world's heart is palpable.

Blessed, Matt Hickey, Olivia Monticcicolo. Phtoto by Sarah Walker

I went to the theatre and saw Blessed, a gorgeously dark and loving play by Attic Erratic (written by Fleur Kilpatrick, directed by Danny Delahunty). It's about finding the holy in unexpected places and people, which is where god always knew it was hidden. For an hour, a room full of people could be in a world that wasn't yesterday's world. It felt good.

At the party after, which was celebrating the launch of the second Poppyseed Festival, I watched Ross Wilson (Daddy Cool, Mondo Rock) sing a song I remember pashing to as teenager and then he danced to a Madonna song with a group of 40-something women. And the world felt right for a while.

There's been a loud call to bring "What Melbourne Loved" back and today is an excellent day to remind ourselves of the power and anger and the hope and healing of theatre and art.

To take part, email me your answers to:

What was your favourite moment in Melbourne theatre in 2016?
It could be a show, a performance, an overheard comment in an interval, a thought the next day or anything that gave you that jolt that says "this is why we do this".

I know some of you like to write a lot, but try to keep it succinct, because there's a second questions this year.

What are you looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017?
It could be something that is programmed to happen or something that you wish for.

Also send me your favourite photo and credit the photographer if you can.

I've just read though the past years and, dammit, we've got so many amazing people working, living and passing through this city. I can't wait to start reading and sharing. They'll start in December.

If you haven't contributed before, please do.

And please get a lot to my by the end of November. I'll keep going in December until we run out, but I need a lot to get us started. If you see something amazing after you've done yours, we can update.

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Review: The Odd Couple

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The Odd Couple
Melbourne Theatre Company
12 November 2016
The Sumner
to 17 December
mtc.com.au

Shaun Micallef, Michala Banas, Christie Whelan Browne, Francis Greenslade. Photo by Jeff Busby

“Is she pregnant? No just fat.” Boom-boom. It’s such a good week to remind us that women are best kept pretty or pregnant.

The Odd Couple is the MTC’s end-of-year already-close-enough-to-sold-out cash-cow show with Shaun Micallef as Felix, the neat-freak cow, and Francis Greenslade, as Oscar the messy bull.

...

The full review is at AussieTheatre.com and will be here soon.

What Melbourne loved in 2016, part 1

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2016 has certainly been a year.

It's been a tough year for artists, theatre makers, administrators, producers, publicists,  journalists and arts writers. We've gone on strike, we've written angry letters and protested and still experienced, made and talked about some of the most amazing theatre that's been seen and made in Melbourne.

Not every show gets written about, but getting a review/interview/feature/tweet isn't necessarily a reflection on a show. Great ones get missed; meh ones get words.

So let's spend the next couple of weeks remembering what we loved and remembering that it's going to take a lot more to dull the hearts and minds of people who make and see theatre.

Sarah Walker
photographer extraordinaire


Sarah Walker  in front of her award-winning photo of Dash. Photo by Mike Greaney

SW favourite moments in Melbourne theatre in 2016: I had two, one full of joy, one full of anxiety.

Jess Thom's Backstage in Biscuitland at Melbourne Festival was such a revelation.

I heard her chatting to Richard Watts on RRR a few days prior, ticcing "Biscuit! Hedgehog! Beans!" between words, and my initial reaction was a sense of very visceral, physical anxiety. Something about the uncontrollable nature of Tourette's made my body freak out. So getting to spend an hour with Jess's incredible brain and wiggly body was such a brilliant experience, because so swiftly, the experience of seeing her tics settled into the texture of her performance, and only the surprise and joy of certain flights of verbal fantasy remained in the space. Jess yelling "Wind! You’re a 19th century fuck up!" had me in absolute hysterics, and her grace and humour and refusal to be victimised was fierce and badass. What a lady.

Also in Melbourne Festival, I was one of the Benefactors choosing how to spend $300 in The Money.

The group floated a heap of ideas, from the thoughtful – supporting disadvantaged kids in a local school – to the ridiculous – suspend the money from a helium balloon and just let it go. With 20 minutes to go, a man bought in to the Benefactor table, thanked the person who'd bought his ticket and the woman who'd just given him 20 bucks so he could speak to us, and made his case: he was homeless, his tent, backpack and sleeping bag had been stolen, and the money would make a huge difference to his life. My two friends and I said, "Well, I mean, it's perfect. It's local, immediate, we know who we're impacting – and it takes guts to stand here and ask this. Absolutely."

But the group didn’t vote to give him the money. One man accused him of being an actor. Another didn't believe that he'd spend it on the items he'd listed. This table of left wing people sat around arguing about a man who'd come to ask for our help, and they talked about him like he wasn't even there. The suspicion and presumptions and callousness at that table will never leave me. The show ended in a flurry of disagreement. The money rolled over. The man walked out. And I was just so, so enraged and ashamed and horrified. I suppose that's what theatre should be. It should make you feel. But it didn't feel good. It felt mean and cruel and impotent. If you can't help someone right in front of you when they’re asking for it, when can you?


What SW is looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017: Oh my god: The Black Rider. I just so badly want that show to be the most anarchic, brutal, chaotic, brilliant and overwhelming spectacle that I’ve ever seen. I want to walk out with fire in my veins. So, you know. No pressure.

The photo by Sarah Walker that she sent me because it was a favourite one that she took.  I'm pretty sure the show, Kill Climate Deniers, will make an appearance soon. 

SM: One of my favourite things about the favourites is that I could re-name it Photo by Sarah Walker (of course). Danny and Penelope (below) both captioned their photos "Photo by Sarah Walker (of course)". Sarah's style is so recognisable and emotionally palpable; she captures the heart of the person she's photographing, and brings life to the stillness of a production shot. It's hard to imagine Melbourne's theatre scene without photos by Sarah Walker.

Danny Delahunty
director, ticketing manager, suave dresser


Danny Delahunty. Photo by Sarah Walker (of course)

DD's favourite moment in Melbourne theatre in 2016: I saw some pretty great shows this year but, wow, The Echo of the Shadow at Melbourne Festival. This is what live performance should be.

Every sense I knew I had (and some I was discovering for the first time) was stimulated. I followed my own story down the rabbit hole and didn't look back. I erased my footprints in the sand; I giggled as my shadow was tickled; I ate strawberries dipped in melted chocolate, lay tucked up in bed as a story was quietly read to me; and had a woman lay an egg in my hand, only to feel it crumble between my fingers as her legs snapped shut. And as I sat drinking spiced tea served from an upturned boat on an isolated beach somewhere underneath ACMI. I wrote about time and our personal relationship to moments in our lives, and left it in a wicker bowl for the ghosts and shadows to read.

Every page of my story was captured in a book that filled up as I journeyed through this strange land: a drip of melted chocolate, a few grains of sand, the smell of my shadow, shards of eggshell. .. and all I need to do to relive the extraordinary sensory experience any time I want, is flick through that book page by page.

What DD is looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017: It's too early to tell for sure, because based on the trend of Fringe this year, I've no doubt we will continue to see some absolutely amazing immersive performances born. But from what has been programmed that I know of? Most looking forward to The Black Rider: The Casting of the Magic Bullets by Malthouse and Victoria Opera. I absolutely love that album.

"When it gets too hot for comfort / And you can't get an ice cream cone / 'Tain't no sin to take off your skin / And dance around in your bones"

SM: Danny recently directed Blessed at the Poppy Seed festival. It opened on the day Trump was elected and the audience were ...  I don't know ... we didn't understand the world that night. But this play brought us into a world that saw the horror of life and made a change based on love (or illness or god). And, as a community, we relaxed, had a drink and stopped ranting on Facebook for a few hours.

Penelope Bartlau
storyteller, creator, grower of garlic


Penelope Bartlau. Photo by Sarah Walker (of course)


PB's favourite moments in Melbourne theatre in 2016: Can I have two? Is that allowed?
Let’s say yes…

Melbourne Festival: The Echo of the Shadow by Teatro de los Sentidos.

Oh I know I know it's an international work, but there were a handful of Melburnians cast into this extraordinary experience. The experience? One at a time, each audience member is lead into a dark labyrinth. Inspired by the story of Hans Christian Anderson in which a journeyman lost their shadow, you become the journeyman. Every sense is attended to as you vanish into an incredible and beautiful underworld. You are attended to by gentle hands, fed a chocolate-coated strawberry, you crush an egg on someone’s thigh, and are laid down on a bed for one, in a boat, and gently rocked as you listen to the water, waves and wind. Travelling this labyrinth, this story, was one of the most singular, gentle, breathtaking and moving events I have ever encountered.

Tremor by Ashley Dyer. This work, a true hybrid of design, sound and dance, is one of the most progressive and adventurous pieces of new theatre I have seen. The set, designed by Jason Lehane, was a musical instrument made up of blades of metal – a field of blades, embedded into moving platforms. The sound designer, Nigel Brown, played the set to manipulate sound throughout the piece, as three dancers navigated their perilous environment.

I’m also really happy for Jodee Mundy, that her work Imagined Touch has been such a success.

Ok – 2.5.

What PB is looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017: I am looking forward to seeing what Whitenight Ballarat promises – and hope it will be something fresh and other than Whitenight Melbourne. I am looking forward to working on The Sound of Cancer, a science-arts collaboration that explores the disease with the aim of demystifying it. I always look forward to Next Wave too.

SM: One of my favourite experiences this year was House of Dreams by Penelope and Jason Lehane. It was also one of those ones that didn't get a review.  The Johnson Collection in East Melbourne was the home and is the legacy of antique dealer and collector William Robert Johnson. House of Dreams was an immersions where every room of the house was filled with Johnson's mementos but told the stories of Penelope's dreams. Dreams which could have been Johnson's dreams and felt so familiar as our collective dreams. Some rooms I wanted to move into, others creeped me out a bit...

What Melbourne loved in 2016, part 2

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There have been a couple of significant international events this year when people thought that their contribution didn't count. The best way to get Melbourne's arts community telling us what they loved, is to do yours and then tag, poke and remind your favourite artists/creators/writers that you want to hear their favourites.

What was your favourite moment in Melbourne theatre in 2016?
It could be a show, a performance, an overheard comment in an interval, a thought the next day or anything that gave you that jolt that says "this is why we do this".

What are you looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017?
It could be something that is programmed to happen or something that you wish for.

Email your answers and attach your favourite photo of you and credit the photographer.

Today we hear from a writer-performer, an editor and a lighting designer.

Isabel Angus
comedian, writer


Isabel Angus (as Penny Parsins) feeling happy about Melbourne theatre. Photo by Hannah Cantwell. 


IA's favourite moments in Melbourne theatre in 2016: I have seen such amazing performances in Melbourne this year: Zoe Coombs Marr's Trigger Warning at MICF, Sixxters Grimm's Lilith The Jungle Girl, Zoe Dawson's Conviction, The Listies Ruin Christmas (SM note: which hasn't opened yet, but we both know that it will be awesome) and so many more unique, hilarious and captivating shows.

However, my hands-down favourite theatre moment would have to be watching Backstage in Biscuitland at Melbourne Festival. My mind was literally burst open, not only by the show itself, but also by the discussion that followed afterwards about relaxed and inclusive theatre and breaking down traditional barriers and preconceived expectations surrounding theatre.

What IA is looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017: Seeing even more weird and interesting things, hearing from diverse voices and experiencing unique ways of making performance. I'd like to witness the barriers between what is and isn't traditionally considered theatre, continually challenged and expanded.

SM: Isabel's Bliss at Melbourne Fringe was one of my many favourite comedies this year. She had me from the moment she left chips for the audience and took them away! But my favourite moment was finding The Jono Show on YouTube and watching a lot of them when I was meant to be writing reviews.

Brendan Jellie
lighting designer and operator

Brendan Jellie

BJ's favourite moments in Melbourne theatre in 2016:  In terms of theatre it was a tremendous year for me. I landed work with Adelaide Fringe Festival and stepped up a rung to supervising tech at one of my venues and fulfilled a dream of teching LX for the Melbourne Fringe Club at Arts House. But there are two shows that I remember the most.

Pursued by Bear's First Date was a hoot. It came at a time when I was down and disenfranchised by theatre and the world, having seen and worked on a bunch of heavy-themed productions. First Date was so light-hearted, it was put together really well with some hilarious moments. I particularly loved the way they transformed the Chapel (at Chapel off Chapel) into a working cafe for the pre-show and had the band subtly dispersed through the cafe. It reignited the creative side of my brain; instead of working to create isolation on stage, this was a show of "let's have fun with this" and it made me wish I'd been a part of it.

The other memorable moment was GoD (Gentlemen of Deceipt) at the Sydney Opera House. It had all the elements of a great story: five friends staying in a two-bedroom Airbnb, early starts and late nights and the surrealism of working at the most famous venue in the country. 

The crazy thing? Once we'd signed everything and we'd bumped in and were rehearsing for the show, I thought, "this is just like every other venue, just everything works"; it was really satisfying. The world is good, but maybe just in pockets :).

SM: A couple weeks ago at the Malthouse, Brendan tapped me on the shoulder to make sure that I turned around to see 70's-and-80's-rock-legend Ross Wilson dancing to Madonna with a handful of 40-something women. I'm so glad I saw that.

Katie Purvis
editor, Joy 94.9 presenter, occasional reviewer

Katie Purvis


KP's favourite moments in Melbourne theatre in 2016: Hard to beat Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs (Arts Centre Melbourne) right at the beginning of January – it set the bar for 2016, and what a high, saucy, wickedly funny bar it was. His storytelling, choice of songs, charm and easy rapport with the audience were wonderful to behold.

Other shows that came close to or got over the bar for me were:

  • Ladies in Black (MTC) – a show for which the word 'delightful' was invented.
  • Liza's Back! (Is Broken) (Arts Centre Melbourne) – in which Trevor Ashley delivered his best and most accomplished solo show yet.
  • Matilda (Princess Theatre) – I loved this dark, funny, brilliantly staged show so much that I saw it twice even though I couldn’t really afford it.
  • Mother's Ruin: A Cabaret About Gin (Butterfly Club) – a superbly performed and extremely funny and educational show featuring Maeve Marsden and Libby Wood from Lady Sings It Better, and musical director Jeremy Brennan.
  • Switzerland (MTC) – Joanna Murray-Smith's suspenseful play imagining the author Patricia Highsmith (played by Sarah Peirse) devoured by her own Ripley character (Eamon Farren) was marvellously spiky.
  • Our Ladies of Perpetual Succour(Melbourne Festival) – raucous, joyous and unapologetically feminist.


What KP is looking forward to in Melbourne theatre in 2017:  I can't wait to see what Dolly Diamond gives us in her role as new artistic director of the Melbourne Cabaret Festival.

At MTC, I'm looking forward to Lally Katz's Minnie and Liraz, directed by Anne-Louise Sarks and starring Virginia Gay, Nancye Hayes, Sue Jones and John Leary. And I’m hoping that Life Like Company stages another piece of music theatre that continues their record of excellent productions, and that they keep putting women in charge (for 2016's The Light in the Piazza, the director, musical director and choreographer were all women).

SM: Every time Katie sends me a message late at night because she's seen a typo on a review. I love her so much for that.

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